humor,truth Quotes That Will Inspire You to Live Your Best Life

1. 1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them.

2. All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ. I Am America

3. Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day. The Ask and the Answer

4. Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. The Braindead Megaphone

5. I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don't understand explain things you can't understand. Wonder

6. I hate when people say 'I see'. It doesn't mean anything and I think it's hostile. Whenever anyone tells me 'I see' I think they're really saying 'Fuck you'. Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You

7. I was once reproved by a minister who was driving a poor beast to some meeting-house horse-sheds among the hills of New Hampshire, because I was bending my steps to a mountain-top on the Sabbath, instead of a church, when I would have gone farther than he to hear a true word spoken on that or any day. He declared that I was 'breaking the Lord's fourth commandment,' and proceeded to enumerate, in a sepulchral tone, the disasters which had befallen him whenever he had done any ordinary work on the Sabbath. He really thought that a god was on the watch to trip up those men who followed any secular work on this day, and did not see that it was the evil conscience of the workers that did it. The country is full of this superstition, so that when one enters a village, the church, not only really but from association, is the ugliest looking building in it, because it is the one in which human nature stoops the lowest and is most disgraced. Certainly, such temples as these shall erelong cease to deform the landscape. There are few things more disheartening and disgusting than when you are walking the streets of a strange village on the Sabbath, to hear a preacher shouting like a boatswain in a gale of wind, and thus harshly profaning the quiet atmosphere of the day. A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers

8. Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let's say you're southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listening to AM radio. Up alongside comes a tractor trailer of logs or concrete pipe, a tie-down strap breaks, and the load dumps on top of your little sheetmetal ride. Crushed under a world of concrete, you're sandwiched like so much meat salad between layers of steel and glass. In that last, fast flutter of your eyelids, you looking down that long tunnel toward the bright God Light and your dead grandma walking up to hug you--do you want to be hearing another radio commercial for a mega, clearance, closeout, blow-out liquidation car-stereo sale? Rant

9. No one believes a liar. Even when she's telling the truth. Heartless

10. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

11. To love is easy, to be in a relationship is extremely difficult. Quote Me Everyday

12. We are like chameleons, we take our hue and the color of our moral character, from those who are around us.