Anthony D. Ravenscroft Quotes That Will Inspire You to Live Your Best Life

1. ...we are taught to put fun and serious pursuits on a continuum as opposed extremes, when this dichotomy is entirely false, made even worse when we act as though we can instantly exchange one for the other...Exerting yourself at a task that is serious and rewarding can still be quite fun, but doing something fun because you have a neurotic need to pack your life full of un is pretty much a guarantee that any long-term benefits you derive will be entirely happenstance. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

2. (In reference to swingers) In the meantime, if you wish to declare yourself polyamorous, get used to the fact that the confusion is gong to remain as a pejorative. Sure, clear up the misunderstanding as much as you can, but don't put too much effort into setting yourself up as a "good", responsible, community-oriented polyamorist by contrasting yourself to the "bad" swingers - they may not be your siblings, but they're definitely your cousins. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

3. In a culture of diversity, one group is likely not "just like everyone else." To deny that we have different needs, concerns, thought processes, worldview, is to refuse to look at the reason we are supposedly an identifiable community. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

4. In a sane world, a term like "chronic crisis" would be instantly seen by anone as an oxymoron. Nevertheless, that's the state that many of us Western Worlders live in, provoking crisis after crisis so that we can justify our dis-ease rather than addressing that directly. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

5. It's a false premise to say that most monogamous people have chosen monogamy. Most people belong to the religion they were raised in...because that's what's familiar. That's the milieu they grew up in, and, for better or worse, they're just continuing the pattern. Until this traditionalist mindset is shaken loose, you would likely try from reflex to impose notions onto nonmonogamy that are not only untenable in the new context but spel sudden and messy doom even in situations that otherwise could be worked out. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

6. Polyamorous people are wary of having others' values inflicted upon themselves, and so tend to stay very far away from making such pronouncements, to the point that they will actively ignore predatory behavior that is affecting their own "community. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

7. Polyamory is differentiable from some other forms of nonmonogamy (including adultery) in that it is future-oriented. Poly relationships are not located solely in the moment, but have intentions (though perhaps tacit and vaguely defined) of at least adding to a base of experience possibly so far as signifying a life-long and emotionally attached commitment. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

8. Relationships tend to be flawed because they are made up of inherently flawed components, mere human beings. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

9. Security comes first from inside of you. Then, if you are very lucky, you will be in a position to find other people who also possess that same sort of security, and build some sort of family or community as a team. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

10. So, a little advice. Relax. You're not filling a job position. You're looking for a pleasant acquaintance.. who might become a good friend... who turns out to be attractive to your senses... and a rewarding lover... then a committed partner whose heart will not stray. If you don't see those signposts and in that order, then you're probably on the wrong road and getting more lost with every step. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

11. When jealousy rears up, it indicates that something inside of you is afraid. It's an alarm, nothing less and nothing more. Treat it as such. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory

12. When you begin with the premise "I treat everyone equally," you have already blinkered yourself from seeing where you don't, or can't, or shouldn't. There is no way to treat two people equally, because they are each unique, with respective strengths and weaknesses. Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction on Polyamory