A long snake that smokes. What am I?
Answer:- train
A man came to visit at a convent while the superior mother was out of town. He left before she returned, and was careful to leave nothing behind. The nuns said nothing about his visit, so how did the superior mother figure out that a man had been there?
Answer:- Because a toilet seat was up.
A man eats dinner, goes up to his bedroom, turns off the lights, and goes to sleep. In the morning, he wakes up and looks outside. Horrified at what he sees, he hurls himself out his window to his death.
Why does he do this?
Answer:- The man was a lighthouse operator. He wasn't supposed to turn off his lights. When he wakes up in the morning, he sees a giant ship that has crashed into the land, causing much catastrophe. Unable to go on, he decides to take his own life.
A man entered his house and was about to hang up his coat when he heard his wife shout;
"No John! Don’t do it!"
There was a shot and he could hear his wife fall down. When he entered the kitchen he saw his wife and the gun lying on the floor. There was a police officer, a doctor, and a lawyer standing next to her. Peter immediately knew that the police officer had shot her.
But how did he come to know?
Answer:- The police officer has a name on his badge.
A man is found hanging in a room 30 feet off the ground. There is nothing else in the room except for a large puddle of water on the ground. The police can't see any way the man could have climbed the walls to get to where he is hanging.
How did this man hang himself?
Answer:- He stood on a tall block of ice and put the noose around his neck. Once the ice melted, he was hung, and all that was left was a puddle of water on the ground.
A man is found murdered on a Sunday morning. His wife calls the police, who question the wife and the staff, and are given the following alibis: the wife says she was sleeping, the butler was cleaning the closet, the gardener was picking vegetables, the maid was getting the mail, and the cook was preparing breakfast.
Immediately, the police arrest the murdered. Who did it and how did the police know?
Answer:- The maid. There is no mail on Sundays.
A man lives on the 44th floor of his building. On rainy days, when he gets home from work, he takes the elevator all the way up to his floor. But on sunny days, he goes up to floor 20 and walks the rest of the way. Why does he do this?
Answer:- The man is a midget and cannot reach button "44" in the elevator on sunny days. On rainy days he has his umbrella with him and is able to use it to press the button.
A man parks his car outside of a hotel and immediately realises he is bankrupt. How did it happen?
Answer:- He was playing monopoly
A man shot two arrows at its center and missed both times, but using a sword swung once at its center and hit it twice.
Answer:- Donut
A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free.What did the man say?
Answer:- He said, "You'll sentence me to six years in prison." If it was true, then the judge would have to make it false by sentencing him to four years. If it was false, then he would have to give him six years, which would make it true. Rather than contradict his own word, the judge set the man free.
A man without bones whose flesh is cold. A man unthinking who is always shrinking. Who is he?
Answer:- snowman
A man worked for a high-security institution, and one day he went in to work only to find that he could not log in to his computer terminal. His password wouldn't work. Then he remembered that the passwords are reset every month for security purposes. So he went to his boss and they had this conversation:
Man: "Hey boss, my password is out of date."
Boss: "Yes, that's right. The password is different, but if you listen carefully you should be able to figure out the new one: It has the same amount of letters as your old password, but only four of the letters are the same."
Man: "Thanks boss."
With that, he went and correctly logged into his station.
What was the new password?
BONUS: What was his old password?
HINT: It is nine letters long. Also, a "password" can be more than one word...
Answer:- The old one was: Out of date
The new one is: Different
He said: My password is "Out of date." And the boss told him the new one when he said: "The password is different."