A pipe, a carrot, and a couple sticks are lying together in a field. Why?
SEE ANSWER
They're what is left of a melted snowman.
A queen bee was buzzing, a worker bee was buzzing, a honey bee was buzzing, and a killer bee was buzzing.
How many bees were in buzzing?
Answer:- One. There is only one b in the word buzzing
A rich person doesn't need it A poor person has it And if you eat it you will die. What is it?
Answer:- Nothing.
A robber comes in a house that a rich person owns and hears a voice Jesus is watching you. He goes in the kitchen and hears it even louder. Jeaus is watching you and keeps going room through room it getting even louder till he comes to the bedroom and sees a parrrot that is saying, "Jesus is watching you" The robber is freaked out when he hears something moving behind him. What is it?
Answer:- It was Jesus, the owners Rottweiler (dog)
A rogue pilot was about to bomb Germany! The commad was given, the hatch was opened and the bomb was released.
Why didn't it ever hit the ground?
Answer:- The plane was flying upside down!
A rubber ball is tossed off the top of a 90 foot building. Every time it bounces, it goes back up half way. How many bounces will the ball take before it stops?
Answer:- The answer is infinite, in a gravity free world. But of course gravity will eventually stop it.
A simple peasant bought a number of camels and is taking them to his farm. As he rides contentedly along he counts them - he counts 29. He was sure he had bought 30 camel, so in alarm he jumps off his camel and counts the camels again. To his delight there are 30. Half an hour later, he counts his camels and once more there are just 29. Confused, he climbs off his camel and counts again. Once more there are 30. Can you explain?
Answer:- When he is on the camel he omits to count it.
A snail drew an s on his car. Why?
Answer:- So people can see the S CAR GO.
A soccer fan, upset by the defeat of his favorite team, slept restlessly. In his dream a goalkeeper was practicing in a large unfurnished room, tossing a soccer ball against the wall and then catching it.
But the goalkeeper grew smaller and smaller and then changed into a ping-pong ball while the soccer ball was swelled up into a huge cast-iron ball. The iron ball circled round madly, trying to crush the ping-pong ball, how did the ping-pong find safety whithout leaving the floor?
Answer:- If the ping-pong ball rolls flush against the wall, the cast-iron ball cannot crush it.
Those who know geometry can determine that if the diameter of a large ball is at least 5.83 (3+2(square root of 2) times as large as the diameter of a little ball, then the little ball will be safe if it hugs the wall.
A cast-iron ball that is larger than a soccer ball is more than 4.83 times as large in diameter as a ping-pong ball.
A store has on sale a computer and word processor small enough to fit in your pocket. It can add, multiply, subtract, divide, and write in all languages. A delete device will correct any error. No electricity is required to operate it. The price? Only a few cents! How can the store make a profit by selling it so cheap?
Answer:- The computer is a wooden pencil with an eraser!
A student zips on his scooter to ride to the train station to get to college. His home is close to two stops; the first one is a mile from home, and the second is two miles from home in the opposite direction. In the morning, he always gets on at the first stop and in the afternoon, he always gets off at the second one.
Why?
Answer:- The sations and his home are on a hill, which allows him to ride down easily on his scooter.