Two bodies have I though both joined in one. The more still I stand the quicker I run. What am I?
SEE ANSWER
I am an hourglass.
Two cars were involved in an accident in the center of town. The man who was driving a little green car, had overtaken a big black car. The driver had misjudged the distance between him and the on-coming traffic and had to swerve back in, causing the black car to swerve and crash into a shop window. When the occupants of the cars were examined everyone in the green car was okay, but in the black car was one dead man. However, the driver of the green car was not charged with manslaughter, why was this so?
Answer:- The black car was a hearse and was on its way to a funeral.
Two convicts are locked in a cell. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. No matter if they stand on the bed or one on top of the other they can't reach the window to escape. They then decide to tunnel out. However, they give up on the tunneling because it will take too long. Finally one of the convicts figures out how to escape from the cell. What is his plan?
Answer:- His plan is to dig the tunnel and pile up the dirt to climb up to the window to escape.
Two cyclists began a training run, one starting from Moscow and the other starting from Simferopol.
When the riders were 180 miles apart, a fly took an interest. Starting on one cyclists shoulder, the fly flew ahead to meet the other cyclist. After reaching him the fly then turned around and yet back.
The restless fly continued to shuttleback and fourth until the pair met; then settled on the nose of one rider.
The flys speed was 30 mph. Each cyclist speed was 15 mph.
How many miles did the fly travel?
Answer:- The cyclists took 6 hours to meet. The fly traveled 6*30=180 miles.
Two dogs are sitting on a porch - a fat dog and a thin dog. The little dog is the son of the fat dog, but the fat dog is not the father of the thin dog. Can you explain?
Answer:- The fat dog is the mother.
Two heads are better than one. What is the contradictory proverb?
Answer:- Paddle your own canoe.
Two hours ago it was as long after one o'clock in the afternoon as it was before one o'clock in the morning. What time is it now?
Answer:- It would be 9:00 pm. There are 12 hours between 1:00 pm and 1:00 am and half of that is six hours. Half-way between would be 7 o'clock. Two hours later it would be 9:00 o'clock.
Two mothers and two daughters go shopping. They have $21, which they split equally between them. How can this be possible?
Answer:- There are only three people. One of the mothers is a daughter also, because there is a grandmother, a mother and a daughter! They each get $7 exactly.
Two schoolgirls were traveling from the city to a dacha (summer cottage) on an electric train.
"I notice," one of the girls said "that the dacha trains coming in the opposite direction pass us every 5 minutes. What do you think-how many dacha trains arrive in the city in an hour, given equal speeds in both directions?"
"Twelve, of course," the other girl answered, "because 60 divided by 5 equals 12."
The first girl did not agree. What do you think?
Answer:- If the girls had been on a standing train, the first girl's calculations would have been correct, but their train was moving. It took 5 minutes to meet a second train, but then it took the second train 5 more minutes to reach where the girls met the first train. So the time between trains is 10 minutes, not 5, and only 6 trains per hour arrive in the city.
Two travellers spend from 12 o'clock to 6 o'clock walking along a level road, up a hill and back again. Their pace is 4 mph on the level, 3 mph uphill, and 6 mph downhill.
How far do they walk and at what time do they reach the top of the hill?
Answer:- 24 miles half past three.
Two wine merchants arrive at the gates of Paris. One has 64 and the other 20 barrels of wine. Since they have not enough money to pay the custom duties, the first pays 40 francs and 5 barrels of wine. The second pays 2 barrels of wine but receives 40 francs in change.
What is the value of each barrel of wine and what is the duty payable?
Answer:- The value of a barrel is 120 francs and the duty is 10 francs a barrel.
Two women and two doctors walk into an ice cream parlor. They each order an ice cream cone. When their ice creams come, there is only 1 strawberry,1 chocolate and 1 vanilla.
How come they didn't complain?
Answer:- One of the women was a doctor!
Two words, my answer is only two words. To keep me, you must give me. What am I?
Answer:- "Your word".
Up and down,up and down, touching neither sky nor ground. What is it?
Answer:- A pump handle.