Joke: Why does the zombie go "brians"?
Answer: He's allergic to brains.
Joke: Why does Waldo wear stripes?
Answer: He doesn't want to be spotted!
Joke: Why doesn't AT&T run any jails?
Answer: Their cells wouldn't have any bars.
Joke: Why doesn't Cleopatra every use her cellphone?
Answer: SHE'S DEAD.
Joke: Why doesn't lysine have any friends?
Answer: He's amino acid.
Joke: Why doesn't Superman need a manager?
Answer: He already has supervision.
Joke: Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?
Answer: They're always in neutral!
Joke: Why don't blind people like to skydive?
Answer: It scares the dog.
Joke: Why don't chemists like dubstep?
Answer: They prefer to not drop the base.
Joke: Why don't dogs make good dancers?
Answer: Because they have two left feet.
Joke: Why don't ducks tell jokes while they are flying?
Answer: Because they would quack up!
Joke: Why don't lobsters share?
Answer: Because they are shellfish.
Joke: Why don't mathematicians drink?
Answer: You can't drink and derive.
Joke: Why don't mathematicians need to buy wood for their fireplace?
Answer: They have lots of natural logs.