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What has five toes and isn't your foot? My foot.
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What is a guitar player's favorite Italian food? Strum-boli.
What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
What is the fastest growing city in the world? Capital of Ireland. It’s Dublin everyday.
What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle.
What is the opposite of ladies fingers? Mentos
What is the scariest tree? BamBOO!
What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper? A fizzician.
What kind of fruit do ghosts like? Boo-berries.
What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality
What language do people speak in the middle of the earth? Core-ean
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What was the man feeling after he got swindled right under Big Ben? He was ticked off.