Ellen DeGeneres Quotes That Will Inspire You to Live Your Best Life

1. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

2. I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

3. It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success. Seriously... I'm Kidding

4. Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair. Seriously... I'm Kidding

5. Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mindset so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts. Seriously... I'm Kidding

6. Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days. The Funny Thing Is...

7. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

8. My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada. Seriously... I'm Kidding

9. Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science. Seriously... I'm Kidding

10. One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.

11. Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

12. Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

13. Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

14. Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.

15. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself. Seriously... I'm Kidding

16. What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger. Now we answer, What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work? Seriously... I'm Kidding

17. When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important. Seriously... I'm Kidding

18. You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.

19. I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.

20. Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science. Seriously... I'm Kidding

21. Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.