P.G. Wodehouse Quotes That Will Inspire You to Live Your Best Life

1. A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle. The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

2. Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty. The Best of Wodehouse: An Anthology

3. He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

4. I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments. Love Among the Chickens

5. I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. The Code of the Woosters

6. I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping. My Man Jeeves

7. If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine. Love Among the Chickens

8. In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

9. It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

10. It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required. The Girl in Blue

11. It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet. Jeeves in the Morning

12. Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. The Small Bachelor

13. Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. The Small Bachelor

14. Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh? Mike and Psmith

15. Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous. Very Good, Jeeves!

16. She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season Carry On, Jeeves

17. The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. The Adventures of Sally

18. The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number. Very Good, Jeeves!

19. The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number. Very Good, Jeeves!

20. There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'""The mood will pass, sir. The Code of the Woosters

21. Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove. Very Good, Jeeves!

22. What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them? Carry On, Jeeves

23. Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

24. You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound. Carry On, Jeeves

25. You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift. The Girl in Blue

26. The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair. Mike at Wrykyn