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Why didn't the monster eat the crazy person?
Answer:- He was allergic to nuts.
You live in a one story house made entirely of redwood. What color would the stairs be?
Answer:- What stairs? You live in a one-story house.
Always in you, Sometimes on you; If I surround you, I can kill you. What am I?
Answer:- Water.
One is to three as three is to five and five is to four and four is the magic number. What is the pattern?
Answer:- One has three letters in the word three has five letters in it five has four letters and four has four letters in it (if you try more numbers they will always come back to the number four: so four is the magic number)
 How can you take 2 from 5 and leave 4?
Answer:-  F  I V  E Remove the 2 letters F and E from five and you have IV
How many sides does a circle have?
Answer:- Two. The inside and the outside.
How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Answer:- Once, because after you subtract it's not 25 anymore.
I am four times as old as my daughter. In 20 years time I shall be twice as old as her. How old are we now?
Answer:- I am 40 and my daughter is 10.
What did one math book say to the other math book?
Answer:- Do you want to hear my problems?
If a boy blows 18 bubbles, Then pops 6 eats 7 and then He pops 5 and blows 1. How many are left?
Answer:- 1
What did the triangle say to the circle?
Answer:-  You’re pointless.
81 x 9 = 801. What must you do to make the this equation true?
Answer:- Turn it upside down.  108 = 6 x 18.
How can you make the following equation true by drawing only one straight line: 5+5+5=550? Can you figure it out?
Answer:- Draw a line on the first plus sign that turns it into a 4! The equation then becomes true: 545+5=550
What did the little lobster get on its math test?
Answer:- Sea-plus.