How did the hipster drown?
Answer:- He went ice skating before it was cool.
How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
Answer:- He gave her a "ring"
How did the whale defend itself?
Answer:- With a swordfish
How do priests stay fit?
Answer:- They exorcise
How do trees get onto the internet?
Answer:- They log on
How do you drown a hipster?
Answer:- In the mainstream.
How do you tell a boy snowman apart from a girl snowman?
Answer:- Snowballs
How does a dog stop a video?
Answer:- He presses the paws button.
How does am armless man play poker?
Answer:- With a chip on his shoulder.
How does Lady Gaga like her sushi?
Answer:- Raw raw, raw raw raw
How far will a blind dog walk into a forest?
Answer:- halfway
How fast do librarians travel?
Answer:- They Book
How long did Cain hate his brother?
Answer:- As long as he was able.
How many 9′s are there between 1 and 100?
Answer:- 20