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Joke: Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?
Answer: She was caught taking a brake!
Joke: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?
Answer: He was looking for Pooh.
Joke: Why were the dark ages called the dark ages?
Answer: There were too many (k)nights!
Joke: Why were the Romans so great at algebra?
Answer: X is always 10.
Joke: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
Answer: She couldn't control her pupils!
Joke: Why were zinc and manganese dioxide arrested?
Answer: They were charged with battery (zinc and manganese dioxide react in alkaline batteries).
Joke: Why would a cop pull over a U-Haul?
Answer: They're trying to bust a move.
Joke: Why wouldn't 22/7 propose to π?
Answer: They were close enough (22/7 ≈ π).
Joke: Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance?
Answer: Because it was a mothball!
Joke: Why'd the chicken jump of the cliff?
Answer: To get to the other side.
Joke: Why'd the man's wife think he was dreaming about writing The Lord of the Rings?
Answer: He was Tolkien in his sleep.
Joke: Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Joke: Wilfred had just learned his ABCs and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class. He stood in front of the class trembling and began. "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." His teacher said, "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?" He replied, "It's running down my leg."
Joke: Winning an argument with you is like running a race in the special Olympics ...
Answer: Even when you win you're still a retard!