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A son tells his father, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says, “You know, you could do better.” “Thanks Dad,” the son says. “That means a lot.” The father shakes his head and goes, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.
After dinner my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.
And if you are still with me, then these final set of dad jokes will round your arsenal, preparing you for any situation. Bear in mind, however, that not all jokes immediately get people laughing. Laughter is a subjective concept, as ultimately one joke can divide a room on polar opposite sides. That is why the next is bound to have something for everyone.
Anyone looking to buy a Delorean? Good shape, good mileage. Only driven from time to time
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
Boss: How’s that new glue?Me:
Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother… Sudden Lee.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”
Dad: I named you after my father.After my father: I know