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I can’t find my ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ DVD. It was here a minute ago.
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I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
I don’t get why Marvel doesn’t use the Hulk to advertise more. He’s basically one big Banner.
I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
I finally got around to watching that documentary on clocks. It was about time.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.
I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. Thats how I lost my job as a bus driver.
I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
I had a fun childhood. My dad used to push me down the hill in old tires. They were Goodyears.
I had a great joke about COVID… but I don’t wanna spread it around.
I had an appointment to see my psychic next week, but she just called to cancel.She said I won’t be able to make it.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
