I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa! | Fun & Jokes | Funtimejokes.net

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I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa!

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique guns collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.

I told my wife she needs to start embracing her mistakes. So she hugged me.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me.

I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why? I guess I’m just a bit slow.

I tried to start a professional hide and seek team, but it didn't work out. Turns out, good players are hard to find.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.

I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.

I used to shower in the night as a kid, then I started showering at morning. The difference was night and day.

I want to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I can have watch dogs.

I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off—too much sax and violins.

I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.

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