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I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
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I’ll never tell my accountant a joke again. He just depreciates them.
I’m addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help.
I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water. It’s my special tea.
I’m finally upgrading from 1080p to 4K in January. It’s my new years resolution.
I’m really excited for the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is open Mike night!
I’m starting a flight company exclusively for bald people, I’ll call it… Receding airlines.
I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.
If a pig loses its voice…does it become disgruntled?
If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
If prisoners could take their own mug shots…They’d be called cellfies.
If sweet dreams are made of cheese… Who am I to dis-a-brie?
If those dad jokes got you laughing off your seats, then the next set is bound to please. If you are a father who has children, whether that be young or old, rest assured that these next jokes will give you enough ammunition at your child’s birthday party or graduation.
