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If those dad jokes got you laughing off your seats, then the next set is bound to please. If you are a father who has children, whether that be young or old, rest assured that these next jokes will give you enough ammunition at your child’s birthday party or graduation.
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If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.
If you slap Dwayne Johnsons butt… You officially hit rock bottom.
If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line.
In 2017 I didn't do a marathon. I didn't do one in 2018, 2019, or 2020, either. This is a running joke.
In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble.
In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.
In my free time, I like to help blind people. Verb, not adjective.
It hurts me to say this, but … I have a sore throat.
It really takes guts to be an organ donor.
It takes guts to be an organ donor.
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.
It’s brave to admit you have an STD. Always clap for those folks!
It’s raining cats and dogs, so be careful not to step in a poodle.
