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In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble.
SEE ANSWER
In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.
In my free time, I like to help blind people. Verb, not adjective.
It hurts me to say this, but … I have a sore throat.
It really takes guts to be an organ donor.
It takes guts to be an organ donor.
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.
It’s brave to admit you have an STD. Always clap for those folks!
It’s raining cats and dogs, so be careful not to step in a poodle.
Just got back from a job interview where I was asked if I could perform under pressure. I said I wasn’t too sure about that but I could do a wicked “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
Lance isn't that common a name these days, but in medieval times, they were called lance-a-lot.
Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Marriage involves three rings: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring.
