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My therapist told me I have problems with verbalising my emotions. Can’t say I’m suprised.
My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.
My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she has no taste."
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.
My wife gave me an ultimatum: Her or my addiction to sweets. The decision was a piece of cake.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn't working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!
My wife left me because of my obsession with pasta. I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So i bought her a candle.
My wife told me she didn't understand cloning. I told her, "That makes two of us."
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment.
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work…She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up