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What crime do blacksmiths most commonly get charged with? Forgery.
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What did one hat say to the other? Stay here! I’m going on ahead.
What did one monocle say to the other monocle? Let's get together and make a spectacle of ourselves.
What did the big flower say to the tiny flower? “Hey there bud!”
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.
What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice pipes.
What did the policeman say to the belly button? “You’re under a-vest.”
What did the shy pebble wish for? That he was a little boulder.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup
What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? HDMI.
What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.
What do skateboarders do when they are really good? They GoPro
