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What’s the opposite of artificial intelligence? Natural stupidity
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What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? “Hand eeeeeyeeeee……”
What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.
When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance to have a smokin’ hot body.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
When my wife is depressed I let her color in my tattoos. She just wants a shoulder to crayon.
When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?
Where do bad rainbows go? Prism. It is just a light sentence.
Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the boat doc.
Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock.
Where do dads store their dad jokes? In the dad-a-base.
