Joke: Why did the kid wear swim trunks made of francium to the pool party?
Answer: He was dressed to kill.
Joke: Why did the lamb cross the road?
Answer: To get to the baaaaarber shop!
Joke: why did the laptop feel cold
Answer: because it's window was open
Joke: Why did the lemon disown his daughter?
Answer: She was a little tart.
Joke: Why did the linebacker go to the bank?
Answer: To get his quarterback.
Joke: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Answer: Because he was caught tweeting on a test!
Joke: Why did the man egg push the woman egg?
Answer: To see her crack.
Joke: Why did the man get a new car for his wife?
Answer: It was a great trade!
Joke: Why did the man get thrown out of the banana factory?
Answer: Because he kept throwing the bent ones away!
Joke: Why did the man sleep in and miss the funeral?
Answer: He's not a mourning person!
Joke: Why did the man take a hammer to bed?
Answer: He wanted to hit the sack.
Joke: Why did the man take Viagra every night?
Answer: So he wouldn't roll out of bed?
Joke: Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy?"
Answer: He left a residue at every pole.
Joke: Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven?
Answer: The directions said "Put in the oven at 180 degrees."