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Joke: Your mama is so fat that her belt size is equator.
Joke: Your mama's so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.
Joke: Your mamas so fat her cloak size is quidditch pitch
Joke: Your mamas so stinky even dobby wouldn't except one of her socks
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
"Cop: I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia." Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
"Your wife and daughter look like twins," my friend said. "Well," I replied, "they were separated at birth."
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” No sun.
“Just look at that couple down the road,” a wife told her husband. “He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?” “Are you insane?” he responded. “I barely know the woman!”
“Just say NO to drugs!” Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
“Siri,” I asked my phone, “why am I so bad with women?" She responded, “I’m Bixby, you moron.”
“What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
“Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”
15 When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.