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Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen? They break out in hives.
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Did you know that the first french fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
Do you wanna box for your leftovers? No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
Doctor: I think your DNA is backwards.ME: …And?
Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend.
During my calculus test, I had to sit between identical twins. It was hard to differentiate between them.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
Finally my winter fat has gone… Now, I have spring rolls.
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says: Oi – get out. We don’t want your type here. Beef jerky.
Friend: “Bro, can you pass me that pamphlet?”Me: “Brochure”
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.
