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My doctor told me I was going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear.
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My doctor told me I’m going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear.
My dog has no nose. How does it smell? Awful!
My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this because when I posted on Facebook, “I’m getting a divorce,” she was the first one to like it.
My friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography. I don't believe him, but that's his story and he's sticking to it.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his bill, so I sent him a "Get Well Soon" card.
My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It’s a good thing he drives a Civic.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”
My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
My landlord told me we need to talk about the heating bill. "Sure," I said. "My door is always open."
My new sweater had a problem with static so I returned it. They gave me a new one free of charge.
My parents raised me as an only child. Which really annoyed my younger brother.
My printer’s name is Bob Marley. Because it’s always jammin’.
My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge. We’ll see about that…
