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My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
SEE ANSWER
My landlord told me we need to talk about the heating bill. "Sure," I said. "My door is always open."
My new sweater had a problem with static so I returned it. They gave me a new one free of charge.
My parents raised me as an only child. Which really annoyed my younger brother.
My printer’s name is Bob Marley. Because it’s always jammin’.
My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge. We’ll see about that…
My son chewed on an electrical cord today. Due to his current conduct, I had to ground him.
My son got angry when I told him “Sky is the limit for you”.He wants to be an astronaut.
My son knocked a picture of himself off the shelf.He looked devastated. I told him, “Don’t worry about it, champ. Pick yourself up”.
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much since I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
My therapist told me I have problems with verbalising my emotions. Can’t say I’m suprised.
My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.
My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she has no taste."
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
