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Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? No, you should just stick with turkey.
SEE ANSWER
So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said “parking fine.”
Sore throats are a pain in the neck.
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show. But Patrick is the star.
Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump… But that’s comparing apples to oranges.
Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.
Swords will never go obsolete. They're cutting edge technology.
The best gift I ever received was a broken drum. You can’t beat that.
The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this
The guy who stole my diary died yesterday. My thoughts are with his family.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
There was once a king who was only 12 inches tall! Terrible king, but made a great ruler.
