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Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.
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Swords will never go obsolete. They're cutting edge technology.
The best gift I ever received was a broken drum. You can’t beat that.
The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this
The guy who stole my diary died yesterday. My thoughts are with his family.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
There was once a king who was only 12 inches tall! Terrible king, but made a great ruler.
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now! Wait…
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Thinking of having my ashes stored in a glass urn. Remains to be seen.
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
This morning, Siri said, “Don’t call me Shirley.” I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.
This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.
