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Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
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Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why did the spoon come to the party dressed as a knife? The invitation said to look sharp.
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife? He needed his space.
Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
Why do astronauts use linux? because you can’t open windows in space.
Why do old plumbers only clean sewer lines during the day?It’s because they can’t see sh!t at night.
Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots…
Why do pregnant cows have so much energy?They’re heavily calfinated
Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
