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Why did the spoon come to the party dressed as a knife? The invitation said to look sharp.
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Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife? He needed his space.
Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
Why do astronauts use linux? because you can’t open windows in space.
Why do old plumbers only clean sewer lines during the day?It’s because they can’t see sh!t at night.
Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots…
Why do pregnant cows have so much energy?They’re heavily calfinated
Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants? They give him good case ideas.
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn’t want to be spotted.
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.
