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Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The bushes.
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you! You have my Word!
Whoever stole my depression medication: I hope you’re happy.
Why are plants so thin? They are light eaters.
Why are skeletons such bad liars? You can see right through them.
Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.
Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
Why can’t you send a duck to space? Because the bill would be astronomical.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine? You only get one shot.
Why did Hitler wear eye glasses? Because without them he could Nazi.
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete? Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard? Because his Visa didn’t work.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
